8th step list

After having made a drastic self-appraisal (the 4th and 5th steps) we have a list of all persons we have harmed and to whom we are willing to make amends.

In this portion of working through the steps, we are attempting to restore relations with the people we have come across and who have been unfortunate to come across us.  As the step reads on the wall it’s got two parts:

1. Making a list.
2. Becoming willing to make amends to everyone on the list.

What it was like near the end of my drinking

I didn’t know for sure what my problems were but I wished for the end.  I looked for a jumping off place.  I no longer looked into the night sky and wondered what my purpose was.  Life didn’t mean anything and my life was certainly going nowhere good.  All my so-called friends didn’t want me around any more.  At one point, in a black-out, I’d gone to my best friends house at 1:30 in the morning and pounded on his door till he opened it.  He and his wife and young daughter had been sleeping soundly till my insistant pounding woke them all up.